We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
