in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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