Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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