So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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