Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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