I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
