I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
