come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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