I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize