we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
