My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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