She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
