Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
