I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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