as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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