Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
