maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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