I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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