Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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