After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
