What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Couch. On fire.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
