I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
