I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
