At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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