my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
