you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
