Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
