They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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