this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
