We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We are two peas in an std pod
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
