I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
