I'm really into asian looking animals
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize