is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
