sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Randomize
