This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
