I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
