at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
