Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
