To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
