I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
BRING THE BAGELS
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
