My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
