Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
