We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
