you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
