is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
