Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
