i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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