What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
