Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
