if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
