Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
