Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
