I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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