arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
