I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
A+ Viking dick
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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