And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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