Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
where does the pee come out of this thing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
