All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
