I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
