How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
