I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
