Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
