I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
