ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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