marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Randomize