i don't like sucking hair
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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